Greetings sistren
I don't have a lot of time on the internet today but I couldn't read de I's post and not try to say something.
First I should say I am a brudda so your best advice on this is not going to come from me, it's going to come from a sista, as I have never walked in de I's shoes.
With that said, I just gon say a couple things briefly:
Firstly... and I know de I might not accept this as "love" doesn't depend on "rationality"... but look nuh... Ice T had a song back in the day "Some of you n----s are bitches too", and this so-called "lion" of yours sounds like the definition of a "bitch" to me I'm sorry to say. Polygamy is a legitimate lifestyle as far as I'm concerned, but not when it's without the knowledge or consent of your partners! Then it's just "cheating"! Which is something I myself have done, I'm far from perfect and as subject to temptation as anyone, but when I cheated on my partner I at least made sure to use protection AND get myself tested to be on the safe side before I got back with her! Your "lion" doesn't even care enough about you to try to make sure you don't get diseases!
A member of my family used to deal with someone with a similar "rootsman" ideology, but (a) he never concealed it from her and (b) in those times awareness of AIDS and STDs in general was not what it is today, the idea that "only batty boy does get AIDS" was still widespread... there was just more ignorance in those times so it was a bit more excusable. But lemme tell ya I'm glad my family member left the bredren before he could pass anything on to her cos he ain't around physically no more!! (Rest in Uhuru bredz)
So the first thing you need to make up your mind to do is start a new life without this "lion", as hard as that may be to contemplate, because he plainly is not going to change. He has the right to be a father to his children of course but that's it, other than visiting the youths you should cut him off as completely as you can.
Now about the abortion. This is where I don't feel capable to give de I advice because of the simple fact that I will never be pregnant. So all I can do is tell you a true story. Many, many moons ago I did something stupid, I was new to the whole sex thing and I wasn't used to condoms, it was like wearing a blasted sock and I kept losing my erection in it. So me and homegirl (who was also a bit "fresh-faced" though not a virgin as I was at the time) decided we'd try the "withdrawal" method. Well needless to say it didn't work. Homegirl and I were both pretty scared as we didn't feel in any financial or emotional position to bring up a child. She said right away she was going to get an abortion. I made it clear that I was willing to be a father but I didn't put a lot of pressure on her not to do it - partly out of respect for it being her decision and hers alone, and partly to be honest because I was just as terrified of parenthood as she was - anyway I didn't pressure her one way or another. She went ahead and had the abortion (this was less than a month into the pregnancy).
She was plainly disturbed afterwards and so was I. She had dreams about it all the time. She asked the little girl's soul for forgiveness (she instinctively knew it would have been a girl despite it being far too early to tell). I don't know if she still thinks about it but I do. I can't help but wonder how my life would be different. She would have been a teenager now. I didn't feel ready for it at the time but I'm sure now that if homegirl had had the baby we would have adjusted to parenthood relatively painlessly. Cos when you really gotta do something you just go 'head and do it and it gets easier with practice.
I don't think abortions should be illegal as (a) it's mostly men who make laws and no man will ever get pregnant , and (b) there are just as many abortions when it's illegal, it's just that the mother is more likely to die along with the unborn child. I certainly don't think abortions are a good thing though. I do believe it is a life. I don't believe it's "murder" at one month when it's the size of a pea but at 8-9 months I feel like, come on now, have the baby, you can always put it up for adoption. If a baby can be born prematurely and survive perfectly well then I think there's a good case for it to be considered a "person" at that point... and just as no one can convince me that a week-old embryo without a nervous system can feel pain, no one can convince me that an 8-month old foetus that is a baby for all intents and purposes does not feel pain. I guess the thing is, where is the dividing line? Islam says "four months" but that seems pretty arbitrary.
Well I got to go. Notice I wasn't trying to tell you what to do or not to do on that issue, I will leave that for any sisters who might want to comment cos I'm not qualified to do so. Just some things for you to take into account before you go making a decision. Ask the voice inside for the final answer. But like I said, you need to leave that guy for good no matter how much you may love him. He has no respect for you, maybe he's deluded himself to think that he does but anyone who would expose their "loved one" to potentially deadly diseases is far from being a suitable partner.
I feel the pain in your post sistren and I do hope things get better for de I soon.
Guidance and I-tection

Greetings,

I give thanks for the link Gman.

Sistren, all i can say is, i can only imagine the turmoil you're going thru. Your mother has gone to a better place.
I'm sure a lot of sistrens and bredens can relate to your story.  I, personally have never been in that predicament.

I'll say my 2 cents worth. If it was not intended for you to conceive this child, it wouldnt have happened. Everything happens for a reason right?!
There are a lot of women that are trying to conceive and are denied that opportunity. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. But a child grows, and with your financial status things must be hard. Your siblings are old enough to help you raise your little ones. You have people, your mother watching over you. You carrying that child is no mistake nor coincidence - it is meant to be. I know, it's probably the last thing you want to hear, but I strongly believe you have a strong spirit. The very fact that you realise this man is no good for you, shows you are not a victim. You have articulated your situation and trying hard to handle it like a strong black woman you are.

All the same, it's your decision. I meditate you do not act on emotions, but on reality. The child is already is already there - embrace it, that's all you need to do. The rest will follow. Keep your head up and stay blessed.

Dry your eyes African Child.
From one Queen to another
Strength and Oneness.

Thanks queen omega.

Sister EmpresKeneilwe .
words cant express the joy in my heart when i read your post I woman apreciate the strenght.
I overstand the rational aspects of your reasoning...i have faith in my self and also believe that for any great change and development comes a painfull process wether of life or death at this point i feel like i have to think about my self and my Son. cause i am the source of my walk of life...
again may jah bless you all the the days of your life