WHITE GIRLS ARE EASY?
Writer - Tony Snow

Do white women really deserve the reputation of being labeled easy? Does the same notion really do justice to the complexity of black masculinity and interracial relationships? And where does this leave black women who by this reasoning, are paying the price in being ignored by black men for being seen as too self-reliant - read hard.

Publisher and broadcaster, Dotun Adebayo who presents White Girls Are Easy discovers that this way of thinking seems popular among black men. Most white heterosexual men are likely to dismiss the notion outright.

'Ray', a black man, who has reached his mid 30s without ever dating a black woman, offers some insight into the debate. His theory is that white women are not necessarily easy, just easier than black women.

His take on the issue is not uncommon because like many black men, he has capitalised on the notions that eternally surround black masculinity - such as virility and being well equipped. Indeed Ray's courting ritual is exclusively based around and dependent on it.

While out clubbing he embarks on a series of stage-managed moves once he has a girl in his sights.He usually begins with a grand entrance; a slick move on the dance floor to grab the attention. Then in deliberately unsubtle fashion will sidle up to the target and his ice-breaker consists of grinding his hips in close proximity as she looks adoringly on.

His technique, which is based entirely on the brazen confidence he exudes, proves highly successful with white women. The thought of trying a similar technique on black women sends shivers down his spine. "It's not that I don't like black women" he points out. "It is just that I have always assumed that black women would never be impressed by that sort of thing. They may think ' yeah you're a good dancer - so what?' I never had the nerve to risk it."

Ray suspects that this fear has been brought about by the prevailing nature of black women. "They tend to come across as very inhibited and more concerned about how they will be perceived." For Ray flirting and acting sexually provocatively is "all part of the game", but he feels black women are reluctant to adopt this role. However he firmly believes that if he could crack this outer layer, then there is a soft centre, but he admits that he has never developed the weaponry to chisel away at this 'case hardened shell'.

Statistics put Ray in the majority. A black man is 60 per cent more likely to have a relationship with a white woman. Historians may point to the legacy of slavery which gave greater desirability to women with a lighter skin tone.

For white women inter-racial dating still remains a novelty. There are approximately half a million black men in Britain, but over 25 million white women. Perhaps some white women that opt for black partners do so out of curiosity and to experience first hand if the prevailing myths around black manhood are true. In order to find a black partner, such women may make themselves more available than to white suitors, thus reinforcing the reputation that they are easy game. Some white women may be drawn to black men because of their confidence and ability to assert their masculinity to a greater degree than many white men.

But love does not discriminate. If two individuals find a connection, race and culture are immaterial. Adults in their 20s and 30s, possess fewer taboos about inter-racial dating and than their parents did in the 1960s. A hybrid culture has emerged as a result of 50 years of multiculturalism from which younger generations from all races can tap into. However where cultural differences due to religion and language remain more apparent, as in the case of British Asians, there is less inter-racial dating.

There is now a further twist with the emergence of a 'new breed' of white woman who date black men. She is the independent go-getter, who is strong willed and takes control of her own life and relationships in much the same manner that black women have been doing for years.

Was the resilience and independent spirit of black women the catalyst for the failure of black men to sustain relationships with them? If that was the case, who will black men turn to, now that white women have cultivated similar traits?

Will black men finally move into the 21st century and learn that in modern relationships control must be shared? Or will they simply move on to the next unsuspecting racial group?

Black women are no longer waiting for Black men to decide. It is apparent that they now are the next big movers into the inter-racial arena. The traditional conventions surrounding dating have been blown out of the water, and quite literally, everyone is up for grabs these days.

I sorry for this guy Ray. Sounds like a sad case.
60% more likely? That's messed up. 95%, no, couldn't be that much. I do wonder what sample they got that statistic from. Seems like folks from the "hood" are more likely to have relationships within their race than folks in the suburbs, colleges, etc.
As for me, gimme the Black woman every time. No dis to any other women, but I couldn't have the connection with them that I do with the sistaz dem. Still no judgement on interracial couples, in some cases it genuinely is out of love (my parents being a case in point) but for real, in most cases it seems like a psychological complex. Imagine this guy Ray afraid to even approach a Black sista and say "hi". He ain't got fuh grind she, all he got fuh do is say "hi" and start a conversation, but he frighten! Sad.

Sounds like this guy is scared of having to use his other muscle...his brain! I don't necessarily think white women are easier in a sexual sense. But possibly easier socially(especially if the men are looking at people as means to an end, instead of an end in themsleves, a common capitalist indoctrination) Having another person as a trophy is taking their humanity away from them. Not only is this a legacy of slavery as Malcolm points out, but it also a legacy of the foreign economic, political, and spiritual systems us Africans are currently under.

In traditional African societies one cannot seperate 'beauty' from 'good'. We have twisted this tradition under slavery and colonialism..."good-hair" for instance...Is it any wonder why Africans have all this confusion? We are force fed a foreign image (of a European) as the beauty standard as well as the image of "god" and on top of that add capitalism(a foreign economic and political system that values profit more than people...slavery and colonialism being it's first exploits) Us African women suffer also. I see the same women who complain most about brothers preferring white women straightening our hair and doing anything to look like a European, like skin bleaching! (I've complained my fair share also, but I feel those who have not altered their African characteristics can complain freely .)

It is a sad day that a man wants a women he can get by grinding on her rather than having an intelligent conversation.
I say there is much more wrong with that brother's thinking, and brothers like him, than can be adressed in  this simple thread. He is lost, unfortunately too many are. African men as a community need to check brothers like this. We women can't do it because we will just be labelled as "haters".

What you say about there being a number of beautiful black sisters is certainly true.  I'm just about to start dating a beautiful sistren named Asackie and consider myself to be a very lucky man!  It certainly seems there are beautiful, strong, intelligent black women available for all who appreciate them, and count I as one.  INI don't really think much about race, though that statement is inevitably devoid of meaning as you NOTICE it with or without intending - but to me a woman with self-confidence and intelligence is A-1...almost regardless of looks altogether.  I'm past those days where physical attraction rules my heart.

Out of Zion know I respect you, but I care and respect even more the survival of my people! My personal view on interracial dating or marriage is bottom line to each his own. When a White man like you or a White woman makes a conscious decision to date a Black man or Black woman because they are "beautiful" or "well endowed" you give them nothing! You know little or nothing about Black culture. In many case you don't want to know about who your mate really is, or what they experience in life. So, I am not for interracial dating and I dislike when I see that too. If that makes me ignorant so be it. We Blacks have already survived the most evil assault possible through the establishment of slavery and colonialism, so I think the Black man and the Black woman should keep their persistence and romance within their community to uplift each other. We lost our culture, religion, language, (names) etc., interracial dating or marriage is an affront to us as a people. It is merely a disguise for Whites to infiltrate and endanger the Black family as an institution.


When the KKK, Neo-Nazi's and White Supremacy epidemic are defunct, then I will become more open to interracial dating or marriage.

Bantu Kelani.