http://allafrica.com/stories/200408170007.htmlNjeeri: Why I Will Not Hide My Pain
Patrick Mathangani
Nairobi
Prof Ngugi wa Thiong'o's wife Njeeri yesterday recounted her harrowing ordeal
in the hands of a rapist when the couple was attacked last week.
Njeeri broke down at a news conference as she recalled the rapist subduing her
even as she screamed in the dark for help and Ngugi fought other attackers in
another room.
She told of her fear of contracting HIV, which causes Aids, once she realised she
could not fight off the rapist.
It was too much for her husband. When he realised what had happened to her,
he stood at the door and asked the rapist to kill him.
Njeeri told her heart-rending story to the world ringed by Justice and
Constitutional Affairs Minister Kiraitu Murungi, his Roads counterpart Raila
Odinga and Office of the President assistant minister Kivutha Kibwana.
The ministers apologised to the Ngugis over the attack as Kibwana admitted a
"lapse" in providing security for the couple.
At times, Njeeri's voice trailed off to a whisper before she found it again.
She said she was speaking out about her ordeal because silence had led to the
stigmatisation of rape victims.
"It would have been very, very easy for me to take your word as attempted rape,
get on the plane and go to America and heal myself."
But she thought about hundreds of Kenyan women and children, who go through
a similar ordeal but do not have the resources to help them overcome the trauma.
This gave her the strength to speak out.
"When I was yelling out at the window, please call the police, call the ambulance,
I've been raped, somewhere somebody was saying psshh," she said.
Then she added: "I saw it over and over on TV that Ngugi wa Thiong'o's wife
attempted rape, and I was like putting a knife in my chest over and over again."
She said she left the apartment in sandals given by a well-wisher, a Ms Mwende,
because she could not trace her shoes immediately.
Njeeri, who is the director of the Faculty and Staff Counselling programme at the
University of California, Irvine, said they treat people with many emotional and
problems. Ngugi lectures at the university.
She has worked with neglected children in New Jersey for 18 years and seen
children abused in every way.
Njeeri appeared to fight back a flood of tears when one of their grandchildren,
six-year-old Sherrie Kabae, gave her flowers and apologised.
"I never expected a child to come and say, I'm sorry Njeeri, I'm sorry that
happened. I never expected her to apologise for them that did this to me."
When emotions overwhelmed her, she said: "I'm sorry. That's all," and dabbed
her face with a white flannel.
But encouraged by Ngugi, who put his arm over her shoulders tenderly, Njeeri
found her voice again.
"No, it's not all, it's not all," she said, and narrated how Ngugi had one day told
her he would never return to Kenya as long as the Kanu regime was in power.
She said she implored him - as is the wisdom when the Kikuyu utter a definite
statement - to say natikirumi (my words are not a curse), but Ngugi never
withdrew his statement.
"My fear and prayer was that I would return him home when he was still standing,
not in a box, because he never said natikirumi."
She said she rejoiced when she learned Kanu had been removed from power
because she was free to bring him back home.
"I brought him back to you, then somebody almost killed him. It's not fair, it's not
right, it's not right," she said and wept.
Ngugi said the attackers appeared to have been sent by someone to humiliate
them because their actions were unhurried and deliberate.
Ngugi said the attackers were meticulous in the action and appeared to read from
a script prepared by people he does not know.
"It is difficult to believe that these four were acting alone or that theft was their
main goal," he said.
He said one of the four roamed through the apartment and was "clearly"
interested in scrutinising his papers.
"Their slow, unhurried way of going about business was chilling," he added.
But he said Kenyans were the ultimate losers when such crime occurred, and
asked the country to unite and fight the vice.
Ngugi said Kenyans must not forget the people who fought for the freedom of
Kenya, and asked the gathering to dedicate a moment of silence to remember
freedom fighter Paul Ngei who died on Sunday.
Copyright © 2004 The East African Standard.
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