Part of the Maat Series by Mama Khandi
Where do i begin? There is a traffic jam in my head, so many thoughts all
trying to get out at the same time, a traffic jam in my heart, feelings all
trying to reach the surface for palpation. Maat has struck a nerve in your
philosophical and psychological foundations. Where do i begin? Do i define
Maat? do i discuss the hemispheres of the brain? do i define religion and
morality? do i discuss the Ancestors and their roll in our lives? do i
discuss the incarnation objective? or the Cosmogony and cosmology? maybe the
subjective/objective realms of reality? or creation, the duality principle
of cosmogony, and the tree of life? hue-man evolution? the principles
underlying the problems of overcoming? meditation and ritual? harmonics of
the breath and the internalization of consciousness?
Maat. Let's discuss how Maat came into being. You already know the
christian version of Genesis. Let's discuss the Khemetian (ancient Egyptian)
understanding of Genesis. Neter (the so-called god principle) projects the
sound "Shri" into the Nada (the nothing/cosmos/existance) to give rise to
the fouth manifestation (Maat). What this means is that Neter in the process
of creation, spoke/projected/uttered energy/sound and this utterance brought
forth the principle Maat (truth/balance/justice/the Law, Order, and Love
which grants Oneness in our reality). Prior to the creation of this fourth
manifestation (Maat), all attentions of Neter were focused on the first
three manifestations of the tree of life: 1). creation of the
consciousness/subjective realm that becomes aware of its origin and true
essential qualities that are eternal and infinite, temporally and spacially
UNLIMITED. The subjective being is the Omnipresence (the Oneness/One-being).
The sound "Aung" was uttered to bring this first manifestation into
existance. 2). This principle is uttered into existance by Neter w/the sound
"Hu" and this aspect of self knowledge the Omniscience (the infinite
knowledge). In this realm unconditioned and undifferentiated energy takes on
a conceiveable form (an existance that can be comprehended by hue-mans). 3).
Neter projects the sound "Kri" into the first and second pheres and brings
forth the realization of theWill. The Will is the unlimited power of
creativity; ie: Omnipotence.
These first three spheres are the awareness of the true nature. The
subjective being (Neter) reflects on the first three spheres to bring the
fourth sphere of reality into existance (Maat). There are 10 spheres on the
tree of life. i will not go into those now, for Maat is the focus of my
conversation w/you now. My baby's name is Maati (he who speaks ONLY the
truth/the word of Neter). Maat - Truth. Deep concept. Even deeper reality.
Your "confession" really messed w/my head and my heart last night. i
got NO sleep and less rest. There were this flood of emotions and thoughts,
this enormous sense of loss, this abis, this hollowness, this........ Not
yet, stay on the mental/spiritual plane; don't share the emotional
yet, not yet. He needs the higher self realization of self before he can
handle the emotional. The voice of the Ancestors continued. If you
want this man, the man we have chosen for you and you for him, you must
first give him the answers to the questions that he has NOT asked. You must
reach into his soul and see and understand why we have chosen him for you
and you for him. You must see and understand that he has a "western
concept of family." He has a strong commitment to family but he defines that
commitment in linear terms (eurocentric) and not wholistic
(Afrikan-centered) terms. The Ancestors continued. Morality is key to him.
But his definition is linear ("preconceived emotions of morality").
She is his "official/legal" wife in the european system. You are his wife
in the Afrikan system. Maat is coming to claim its own. The truth faces him.
You only ask for what is rightfully yours to SHARE, to consumate w/your
mate. He denies you because he does not know MAAT. The Ancestors continued.
Polygamy has its reasons for being in the numerical imbalance that exists
between men and women. It is not only a system of marriage but also a
solution/preventative measure against a system of social holocaust/Maafa. He
thinks you are asking him to choose between you and she. Maat demands no
such choice. Such a choice is not reality. It is a facade brought into
existence by a system of linear existence. Polygamy is not a matter of
personal or cultural choice. It grows out of a concern of the women who have
husbands to care for other women in society who do not. It grows out of a
concern for an Afrikan nation that has the capacity to respond to the needs
of all of its constituents, and its own needs. It is a measure of
preservation of Afrikan society and a protection of our MORAL and spiritual
The Ancestors kept me up all night last night trying to help me sort
thru my feelings. And i .... not yet. Allow us to talk thru you. You
may speak later. Patience, you may speak to him soon. The Ancestors
continued. Viewed from the Afrikan perspective of the Self (the first
sphere), which is the UNITY of all things, is to be realized on Earth in our
everyday living experiences. i asked the Ancestors, "Can he truly
proclaim his oneness w/another woman or anyone, if the persons involved are
willing to SHARE those things that can be shared?" The Ancestors continued.
Neither he nor she (or anyone) can not TRULY (in the realms of Maat),
proclaim to be spiritual or claim a sound moral base while simultaneously
not giving a damn about sistas who, for causes beyond their control, must
fail to fulfill and satisfy their basic human need for an ADULT FAMILY LIFE.
i asked, "Then is he saying that i can not be a part of his family w/out
him making a choice between me and his family?" The Ancestors continued.
Yes, because his concept of family is linear. He does not define family
in Afrikan terms which would include you. He does not understand that your
cries for fulfillment of your needs are a cry for inclusion, not choice.
The Ancestors continued. He can not proclaim to be moral or
spiritual while accepting a competitive (she vs. me) situation in
which many and ultimately ALL will lose. He can not continue to claim to
be spiritual/moral while simultaneously ignoring the fact that there has
been for thousands of years a solution to the numbers imbalance that is
destroying the Afrikan community. i asked, "Has he acknowledged the
problem?" The Ancestors continued. Not in Afrikan terms; but in eurocentric
terms. Which is why he asks that you not request from him your right to ask
from him, sensual/sexual comforts, the consumation of your marriage. The
Ancestors were quiet.
What i innerstand from the prayer (conversation w/my Ancestors) is
that you have requested that i fend for myself, deal w/my needs in a way
that doesn't include you or challenge your preconceptions. Kinda' like the
solution that the Aztecs and the Greeks had for the imbalance of women to
men, they throw the excess girl babies off of a cliff. Here, you ask me to
not want to express the love that We have in the way that people who love
each other express it. Why does she deserve you and i not? We are both
Afrikan, We are both womb-men, We are both hue-man w/the same needs. Why?
Why do i have no right to have my needs fulfilled in the same ways as she?
The Family is the foundation of all societal understakings and
institutions. If the Ancestors are saying that your concept of family is not
Afrikan centered, (and they are), then that is why (as i see it) you feel
that i am challenging and questioning your preconceived emotions, family and
morality foundations. Linear concepts of family are a type of lie. Living
these concepts for the number of years that you have has dug yourself into
the most dangerous social quagmire. You and she (like many other couples)
are not living the principles of Maat. You exist in a linear state. The
state of denial. This state does not allow for inclusion. It shuts all
others outside of its "family" structure while perpetuating the dialectical
contradiction of calling itself a family. Family is inclusive. It does not
feed the spiritual vampires that feed off of linear energy. "Rain does not
fall on one roof alone." Afrikan proverb. Get my point?
How did you think i would respond to your note? God! this is
probably going to be the longest note in history and you will probably have
to read it off line. You may even need to print it out in order to
adequately respond to it w/out having to keep changing screens. Because i am
clear that you have invoked within me a need to express beyond all limits. i
gotta let it flow.... i gotta get it out.... i can't carry this around w/me.
i got enough stuff inside of me that has no one to receive it. i don't need
yet another thing to stay w/in me and fester into an ugly wound of scar
tissue. We gonna work this out. Period. We are going to get to the core, the
root, the bottom of what We are, who We are and why We are.
You said that i "have fallen in love with [you]." You didn't say that
We fell in love w/each other. You didn't say that you fell in love w/me. You
said that i fell in love with you. So, DID I FALL IN LOVE ALONE!?
Is your admission of the fact that you also have fallen in love w/me, a
violation of some tenant that you and she share? yet again another
manifestation of the omission of Maat from yalls' relationship foundation.
i am consuming you? Are the etherial waters rising from your ankles,
knees, waist to your neck? Is that why you wish to slow down? Water reaches
its own level, baby. Why must i stop being who i am? Why do you ask this of
me? Why are you affraid of me? Am i not what you asked for? You know the old
saying, "Be careful what you wish for, cause you might get it?" Well, am i
the wish, the quiet prayer that you prayed at night where neither she
nor anyone could hear you but the Ancestors? Did you think that because you
did not utter words/you only prayed in your mind, that your prayer would not
be heard? Did you think that? What were you thinking? Or did you think? You
are in a selfish relationship. You prayed an unselfish prayer. What did you
think would happen?
Platonic. For how long? How long will i have to do w/out while she
gets what she needs? How is that morally right? How is that spiritually
right? How would my needs being fulfilled hurt her? What does my needs
being fulfilled have to do w/her anyway? Nothing! She and i both have needs.
i do not seek to deny her hers and i don't want for she or any sister to
deny me mine. You said, in time it will change PERHAPS. Perhaps? You intend
to perpetuate something other than Maat for some undetermined amount of time
and you want me to be patient and wait while you do that? i don't think so.
How can i do that to myself? There are some things that are unaceptable to
me. Being w/out a man in the face of sisters who do not do without, is one of
Its TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. Either We are all without, or We all have. That
some have and some don't shit is bullshit.
You said that you wanted to be free. Freedom is an act of
self-determination. It is not something that either she, i nor anyone
else gives you. You take it! It is your birthright. How can you be free to
be you, if you are affraid to do what is necessary to attain that goal?
Freedom to love is an infinite, devine inspiration. You have lived for
years in an emotional, incarcerated prison. i want no parts of that. i want
to be part of you, your family (the Afrikan definition), but not as you
presently define it. You have lived with this definition so long that you
request that i incarcerate my expression/our expression of our love. Don't
restrict me. Don't restrict us. i have waited all my life for you. And now
you wish to deny me! God! Whenever you have sent your spirit to be w/me at
night We have NEVER been sexual. You've cuddled me, wrapped your warmth
around me and i slept. i did not dream of sex. i dreampt of peace,
contentment, fulfillment, inclusion. Mine is not a request for you to make a
choice. Mine is a request for inclusion, expansion, growth, development,
evolution, assension. You are more than capable of giving me those things.
To give me those things, would mean that you would have to be free to
redefine: family, analize preconceptions, and re-evaluate morality defined
in linear terms. These are the foundations which strike at the heart of what
you and she have built your relationship on. Quicksand my brother,
quicksand. Afrikan consmogony is the only foundation strong enough to
withstand all challenge. We (you, she, and i) need an affirmation of
completeness. You are also confusing the consumption from me w/the devouring
that she does. You do not comprehend sex as a jewel, as an energy to
cultivate. If you did, you and she would've developed it in different
terms that were not exclusive. You need time to fully prepare for me. i am a
dynamic force in the universe. i know that. Even us dynamic forces need
sanctuary and safe haven in the arms of the Afrikan man.
Platonic. Redefined: you need from me a friend, time for transition,
no expectations. Acceptable as long as you give me an update upon occasion
on the growth that is taking place in the transition phase. There must be
progress. Stagnation is unacceptable to me. i will not wait for a situation
that does not grow and develop into its greatness. Do not shut me out. Do
not shut out the voice of the Ancestors. Why do you submit to the spiritual
vampires? Why does the warrior throw down his weapons and surrender so
easily? i am not asking you to be my saviour. i am asking you to be a man;
to be my man; to be the man that you were meant to be. i do not suffer from
the savior crisis orientation. i do not believe in a savior Jesus, Moses,
Muhummad or otherwise. i do believe in having a man, being a part of a
family, and having mutually agreed upon needs fulfilled in a reciprical
You mentioned "consequences." How do you adequately interpret and
adequately plan for survival and victory over these adverse consequences
without the tools of skillful balance, intuition, inspiration, deductive
reasoning and experimentation? You are commiting a spiritual, moral and
emotional suicide by insisting on maintaining such narrow limits. i believe
that you, she and Khandi must reach deep into our cosmic souls and reconnect
with our original divine nature. (she also, if she is so inclined). What
do you believe in?