I have intentionally imbued the term softness with some measure of ambiguity, because I wanted to gauge others' sociological imaginations as they reasoned with the issues on the table.
If this is an experience true and close to you and you actually want change, then it is rather odd that you would use this as an academic exercise. It goes against the very nature of the reasoning as it trivializes the real lived experiences of dark skinned people. If that was your true agenda, then I find it reeks of exploitation to advance a personal agenda.
However, if that is not the case then here is a link that I found and still find useful "It Takes Honesty To Reason" http://www.rootswomen.com/articles/It_Takes_Honesty_To_Reason.html
This is precisely how I reason and grapple with things that are close to me. What I have shared with this forum comes from the heart, yet your comment seems to suggest that there is a right way and a wrong way to reason about my own real and lived experiences as a dark-skinned woman. I'm afraid that's just how my brain works at the moment. If this offends your sensibilities, then it speaks more to my point of entry into conscious development and less to the idea that I am using this as an academic exercise.....If there are alternative ways to reason with others, then I would like to learn them. However, I am feeling quite judged or prejudged, oddly enough, for being who I am at the moment. I just find it odd that you have jumped to the conclusions that you have, given that we do not know each other. Am I missing something?
And, thank you for the link.