did I get bun out?

[kaiso in control]

I am looking for help on a spirituaI dilemma I am having and I am looking at help from so called alternative means...
have an interest in this because I am dealing with some schizoid delusions (or realities) involving the selling of my soul to the devil and subsequent damnation and the waiting for death so i can burn for all eternity. I am starting to learn about carl jung and reality tunnels as well as other form of spirituality like shamanism, egyptian (KMT) meditiation, voudon , palo, entuela kongo and lukumi and other ways of reaching higher conscious like yoga...
and I am not sure if the voices i hear are real or not, or who they are. But I seem to have a conscious in my mind that tells me i have sold my soul and am damned and heading for hell. Sometimes he identifies himself as satan, many times he calls himself "me." or "the part of me that said no to the devil" (where as, I said yes)

I read metu neter one and two, a book about an oracle similar to Ifa... and read about the khabit in sphere 10 and the animal spirit of man, Im still learning but I think I may have succombed to this part of my psyche...

I have several theories as to why all this is happening. I have led up till recently a life containing a caustic family realtionship. I fought and argued with my brother and parents for many years and I am very ashamed of the evilI I have comitted verbally and in the uncontrolled use of my temper.

I now fear it is too late since this is what the voices tell me. I initially began having enormous dread in crowds and hearing a dark male voice telling me bad things about myself. this was under the influence of marijuana. At this time my family issues were not being adequately worked on and I was struggling in college.

Eventually, when high, the voice identified himself as the devil. One time, when high I sold him my soul and immediately knew that i was going to hell and going to burn for all time.

A lot of this might have to do with imprinting of religious ideas and projections. The actuall beings i hear may be thought complexes or personalities from my collective unconscious that have found my ego and like to intrude on it.

I have heard schizoid thought is a defense mechanism that is caused by stress and that this is my particular defense mechanism. I am convinced my family relationship and negative actions influenced this whole process.

I am wondering if you understand or can offer any insight into this. And if you can point me to any authors or thinkers or philosophies that could provide assistance.

I was wondering if this is my personal god or lower power, and is it evil and mean becauseI was evil and mean? OR is this the inner power that was in my since birth that has shaped my actions from the unconscious since birth. (I often think i am a demon, or was just born bad, and the voice often agrees that I am demonic or a bad seed)

In public i am distraught because I think I have connections with other lost souls who are also grimly awaiting merciless punishment in hell.

I also hear voices in public that make me think i am picking up other peoples thoughts but only if the thoughts have to do with my status as a damned soul, a person that "is finished" and that "nothing can be done for."

Well I just wanted to see if you could offer any advice.

thank you,

[wezekana]

"he calls himself "me.""

I am very ashamed of the evil I have committed verbally and in the uncontrolled use of my temper.

I am convinced my family relationship and negative actions influenced this whole process.

You have answered your own questions and realize where to look for answers. Stop second guessing yourself. Look inside yourself. We all create our own various hells or we have the ability to create paradise. No other hells exist. Seek reconciliation, if that is your wish. I feel... you are not being entirely truthful. If I am wrong, I apologize.


The hearing of voices may mean many different things.

1. That you are actually in the privileged arena of the spirits. (From the directions you are receiving, maybe not the case..)

2. You are under the influence of malevolent loas, spirits, gins or demons. If this is the case than your spiritual powers they are attempting to usurp. Remembering God and His True Supremacy at these times necessitates their temporary departure, but much prayer, internal meditation and self examination are necessary to relieve a mind in this state. Potential psychic prowess is usually the direct cause of these type of attacks. Fear nothing but God.

3. You have caused a schism in your psyche due to a subconscious reproach in concerns to your previous actions (I do not believe this to be the entire cause, but I do believe it to be a factor. Seek reconciliation).

The Muslims say 'Dhikr Allah". This means 'Remember God'. Regardless which of these afflictions you suffer from this ideology will help.

[empressiternal]

Greetings InI would have to agree with wezekana, But think of it this way if your Life was over you wouldnt of wrote the thread seeking help. Life is the most Blessed Gift from God what ever you want to Title Him.Sometimes when we are favoured the devil likes to start a spiritual war within our being,POSITIVE affirmations DO help.
Looking for something POSITIVE in ivery day should it be the fact that you woke up this morning with a beating heart, give thanks, Look above yuh head you have a roof you are not homeless give thanks,When yuh make a hot drink and eat a little food , you are not thirsty or hungry, Give Thanks , Look at the clothes on your body you are clothed and not naked Give thanks, I am not trying to make light of yuh situation but just trying to show you some POSITIVE gifts of the day, positive thoughts lead to positive changes, I sense a lot of Strength  of Character, ALL IS NOT LOST.
Love and Raspect
Empress I